You Can't Play on Broken Strings
by onlyalthea
Summary: This will be a collection of short pieces of writing on various pairings involving James "Bucky" Barnes/The Winter Soldier through the stages of losing (and regaining) his humanity.
1. Enemies - Bucky x Natasha

**Author's Note: **As per usual, I don't own Marvel of any of the characters. Anything you recognize belongs to Marvel, Stan Lee, etc. Please don't sue me.

**Enemies - Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff**

James should have expected this. Natalia Romanova had been his most promising student, once, and then she'd been his lover. She knew him like no other, whatever the blond man who carried the shield claimed about him. She knows his mind, knows his body and he is certain that they must all be aware of that by now. How fitting, that they should choose her to break him. She is the only one who stands a chance. He is no stranger to physical pain, after all, and perhaps they believe that his heart is the weak link in the chain. She opens her mouth to speak, but he interrupts her.

**"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it."**

They're enemies now, and though he would never show it it pains him. They were closer than close, once. He'd taught her so much of what she knew, and she'd made his world a little brighter. He'd woken from stasis to find her married to another man, and even that he had been able to tolerate because it had given her a chance at happiness. What woman could be happy with a monster like him? He knew better than anybody just how twisted and damaged he was.

He should thank her, really. Natalia had been a weakness of his, the one thing that had helped him cling to whatever humanity had been left in him. Once she'd gone it had been easier to let the trappings of humanity fall away and to become the beast that he was today. Perhaps she had not created the monster, but her absence from his life had helped free it from its bonds. He no longer felt any remorse for the blood on his hands and the lives he'd taken, though the fact that his masters had sent him after the one woman he had ever come close to loving was not lost on him. He would grieve for her once she was gone, but he would obey his orders.

She was a traitor, and she must be eliminated. That was what he knew to be true. He tried to close his ears and his heart to the toxic words she spoke to him. Perhaps she had him at a disadvantage, restrained and unarmed as he was, but his heart was true. She would never have that again. "James, let me explain."

**"I will not listen to your lies, traitor."** The look on her face is one of distress and for a moment he almost yields, but no. That is what she wants. She wants him to fall prey to sentiment and emotion like the swine she now named her allies, but he was not weak. There was no softness left about him, and he would not hear her. **"You might as well kill me, Natalia. This pathetic attempt at an interrogation is pointless."**He wasn't going to tell her anything of use. He knew that, she knew that, and he knew she knew it. She composes herself quickly enough, hiding behind the stoic mask of the Black Widow, and leaves the room. He counts it as a victory. Right here, right now, he's proven to himself that his will is stronger than even he realized.


	2. Restraints - Bucky & Tony Stark

**Restraints - James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark**

When the dark-haired man comes in to 'check his restraints', James is sure they're all out to get him. He was sure of that before, but this has just proven it. Of course, they had to send this man with his smart mouth and ever-present snarky remarks that just make James want to bash his head against a wall. His hands twitch at that thought, balling into fists and desiring nothing more than to lock around Tony Stark's throat. The glare he's sending Stark's way must make his violent thoughts crystal clear, but he decides he needs to speak regardless. **"Trust me, if they were loose enough for me to escape you'd be dead by now."**

The man doesn't seem to even miss a beat and it's infuriating. **"You know, your face will stay like that if you're not careful. Having said that, I think it might just be too late for you."** Confusion wrinkles the Winter Soldier's brow. He's not used to people taking his threats - or warnings - so lightly.

**"I have many skills. Looking pretty isn't one of them."** He knows he's attractive, sure, but that's never been something that's factored much into his life or the way he carries himself. He's a weapon, first and foremost.

**"So I've heard. Lying prone on the floor must be a great asset to your resume,"** Stark quips and it makes James' blood boil. He wants to kill him - to tear him down, destroy him, prove to him that the man is less than nothing. Perhaps his hatred is irrational but it drives him and gives him purpose. He thinks a moment before he makes his reply.

**"Maybe not, but putting a bullet in your brain would be."** He's agitated and he needs to be free. He can't remember a time when he was ever restrained like this, and yet it feels so familiar and there's just a hint of panic trying to sink its claws into him that grows as the hours pass. A weight on his chest, a fear that ties his stomach into knots, something that he can't understand. **"Do you have any intention of releasing me or are you just here to enjoy this?"**

**"Well, since Thor broke the TV, you're my only source of entertainment right now."**

This is a joke to him. A game that James doesn't know the rules of and never wanted to play to begin with. He's made to kill, not to trade verbal barbs with Americans who had shockingly and embarrassingly gotten the better of him. He still owed Captain America for that one, and he intended to repay that debt in full. He might have broken the man's nose but there was much, much more in store for him if ever got his way.

**"Then find another one."** James' tone should be enough to indicate that he's not in the mood to put up with much more from Stark, but right now he's a captive audience and there's very little that he can do about it.

**"You know, I was wondering what on Earth I would do while I miss Desperate Housewives. And by sheer coincidence, you turned up. There's a higher power at work here, Barnes. You were sent to entertain me."**

James actually rolls his eyes at this because he can't believe how anybody could be so egocentric, but it really shouldn't surprise him. He's been schooled on the faults of these Westerners for so long that he should have expected as much. **"They're tight enough. Just go."**

**"Speak up, Barnes. You're mumbling."**

He raises his voice now, thoroughly enraged and just wanting to be left alone. **"Go. Away."**

**"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"**

There's the sound of the door being shoved open. James turns his head and its Captain America, whose real name he can't remember or never knew to begin with. The man seems to think he knows James, but his own memory is a blank when it comes to the Captain. Clearly it's all a lie meant to manipulate him. The Captain gives Stark a stern look.

**"Can I have a word with you, Tony?"** His tone seems to imply that he means business and the look he gives James is almost protective. He doesn't understand it but for now he's just relieved that Stark is walking away from him and toward the door. Finally, some peace and quiet again.


	3. For the First Time - Bucky x Tony

**Author's note:** Takes place in an AU in which Tony is a student at MIT and Bucky is ex-military.

* * *

**"Bucky, I've never done this before. Not … not with a guy."**

Those words cause a kind of momentary panic in Bucky that he's never felt before. He's never been anybody's first, and what if he does something wrong? What if he - God forbid - hurts Tony? If it was anybody else Bucky really wouldn't have cared so much and wouldn't have been struggling with the urge to just go for it and fuck him into the mattress like he'd been wanting to do half the night. With Tony, though, that feels like it would be completely the wrong thing to do. They've both been drinking and he knows how easy it is to lose control and there's no way he's going to put Tony through that.

Fuck.

**"Hey, don't worry about it. We'll take it slow."** Bucky's voice is soft and reassuring. Part of him has already decided that he can't possibly go through with this. Not here, not tonight, not like this. He can feel the wild pounding of Tony's heart in his chest, and that just drives home the point of how nervous he is. And so he kisses Tony, explores every inch of exposed skin with his mouth and hands. Tony's breath hitches at his wandering hands and he's rewarded with a soft moan when he discovers a particularly sensitive place to kiss or touch. It's soft and gentle and nothing like Bucky usually is, but just this once he finds he's okay with that. He's found something that's worth the extra effort. He could keep it up all night, listening to Tony's little sighs and moans, but it would be cruel to make Tony wait that long for release. He knows exactly what he's going to do as he kisses his way slowly down over Tony's chest and stomach. Through half-lidded eyes, he can see that the younger man knows exactly what he's going to do, but he doesn't seem to be protesting. He's probably been here a hundred times before, just with women, and for a second Bucky's nervous that he's not going to measure up. What if it ended up being awful and Tony never wanted to see or hear from him again?

No, he tells himself. It's not like this is his first time doing this, after all. The way Tony's body tenses and the strangled cry that leaves his mouth when Bucky licks him from base to tip just encourages him. He dives right in, taking Tony deep as he feels hands grip his hair. He gently holds Tony's hips down, head bobbing and all too aware of the ever-tightening grip on his hair. **"Fuck, Bucky …"** He doesn't pause, just shifts his gaze up toward Tony's face. He pulls back long enough for a breath, tongue roving over Tony's length once more for good measure before returning to his ministrations. **"Bucky, gonna …."** The warning doesn't go unheeded and Bucky's ready when Tony comes, pulling on his hair and bucking his hips against the hands holding them steady. Bucky pulls away, swallowing and wiping at his mouth before kissing his way back up Tony's body and settling in next to him on the bed.** "Night, Tony,"** he mumbles, wrapping an arm around Tony's waist to pull him in close. Maybe this wasn't how he'd planned on the night going, but it was a good end nonetheless.


End file.
